CatchUp, Popo, Kiddios and BEing Still. :)

Hello all!

Yeah...I know.  I've been slacking, truly.  And I have, I will admit.  But life has been happening, LIFE!  So many good things have happened, and I am caught up in all of it.

I need to catch you up on this year's trip though.  We are going to Cholula, Puebla, Mexico, about 40 miles east of Mexico City.  Our team of 15 has been meeting (most of us) and bonding well...we do have 2 members who are remote, but we do our best to keep connected with them as well.

Right now, we are on a countdown to our trip.  As of today, I have 22 days before I board that plane with my team, and I am excited.  Clearly, not nearly as excited as last year...but then again, that was my first missions trip ever, and that kind of build up was to be expected.  Anyway, 22 days until I go to a beautiful country with great friends (lucky for me, my best friend is on the trip as well!), to make even more great friends, I am sure.

I  must admit a bit of anxiety though...nothing to make me decide not to go, but anxiety nonetheless.  There is an active volcano there, Popocatepetl, which is slowly rumbling its way back to life.  Since May of this year, it has been churning and spewing ash and smoke into the air.  This is my concern, since I am asthmatic.  I was recently told by Jeff Izzo, a missionary currently serving in Nicaragua with his family, that "active volcanoes aren't the ones you should worry about.  At least they give you warning.  It's the inactive ones that you need to worry about", which did help.  (Be sure to check out the Izzo Family blog HERE )  Woohoo for me that my bestie is an EMT, and will bring me breathing masks, so I can still go out into Mexico to be The Hands and Feet of Him!

Popocatepetl, as a plume of smoke reaches to the sky. May 2013.

I am almost at my fundraising goal (Praise Him!), and am just now thinking of what I'll be packing, besides the filtering masks, lol.

This has been a different kind of summer for my household as well.  The kiddios are doing different things, and I am making plans because of it.  My daughter went to grandma's in Michigan again this year, and is having an absolute blast!  The boys decided though, that since being teenagers is fun, but spending summers at grandma's isn't so cool anymore, they'd stay home.  My oldest is going into his senior year at school, and got a job.  My youngest will be a sophomore in the fall, and is enjoying a summer of freetime.  While I'm away on mission, my aunt plans to come to my house to stay with them, so the oldest can still work h is regular shifts at work.  I appreciate her for being so willing to do that, so I don't have to worry while I'm out of the country!

My job has gone well, and I've even been given a promotion, which is always encouraging.  That also means that now, I am a salaried employee, with PAID time off, so going on this mission will not hurt my family, financially.  Praise God!

All of this is to say that while I have been busy, The Lord has been busier.  There are times when I don't even know what I am going to do, I am so busy...but then I take a moment and realize that I need to be still.  Be still, and know that He is God...and I am not.  I've gotten much better at that, as of late.

Exodus 14:14 tells me that "The Lord will fight for you, and you only need to be still"...so I wait.



I hope to blog more (now that I've remembered my password...being busy helps me to be forgetful as well, lol), especially since the trip is coming up shortly.  If you know me in person, and you know that I haven't blogged in awhile, call me out.  Speak up!  Let me know!  And I will smile...and hop on it as soon as time allows.

Thanks for being faithful, readers.  I appreciate you, wherever you are!

~yonna

Personalize the Mission

So I was in church this past Sunday morning...actually, I was in the booth.  Let me back up...

I serve in the Worship Arts Ministry at church.  I am a vocalist on the vocal team, I occasionally sing with the choir, and I also serve in the production booth, working computer media (running the slides with song lyrics, scriptures and videos that the congregation sees on screen).  We are in the middle of a series called EPIC, and one of our pastors, Luke, was speaking.  What he said really affected me...I mean, I was scribbling notes, and trying to pay close attention at the same time, so I could make sure the right slides were up onscreen.  (Forgive me, Mountain Christian Church, if some of the slides were wrong or late because I was distracted - my heart was convicted!...however, I WAS NOT the cause of the power outage, lol!)

It got me to thinking about my mission, and personalizing my mission, not just my mission trip.  Yes, that is included, but my mission goes so far beyond that.  God is writing a story for my life, an Epic.  Of course, my church loves quirky anagrams that helps us to remember things, and this one is spot on.


E - Encounter Christ
P - Personalize the mission
I - Invest time and money
C - Change

I am at a crossroads now, where I am praying on how I plan to personalize my mission,  (including this trip).  It must have meaning in my life for it to remain relevant to me, for me to remain passionate about it.  But more importantly  it has to be of and about God, and His plan.

1Peter2:9-10: You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's Special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.  Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

These things struck me!

You are a chosen people.  Who?  Me?  An impatient single mom?  A failure, a sinner...me?

You are a royal priesthood.  I have no church, and I certainly don't have a kingdom!

You are a Holy Nation.  I lead no one, and I mess up so much...how can I be Holy?

You are God's Special Possession.  You're kidding me, right? 
(By the way, to possess is to make something, then proclaim ownership.  It's like God created me, then drew a circle around me with His arms, and says "this is mine"...like kids do with toys or candy they don't want to share)

God has designed me to Go and Do His great works, in my life, and in Mexico this summer.  I must go and fulfill His mission, as He has personalized me for this very purpose.  He has challenged me, and I have taken Him seriously by applying to go on this trip, and now preparing.

I have a mission.  I am a Royal Priest.  My duties are not in a castle, but in leading others to have a personal encounter with Christ through a beat that moves not only their feet, but also their hearts.  I plant seeds, and I pray.  I Go, and I Do, and all to His Glory.

The enemy is at work!

Only 4 more days until departure!

This past weekend, I took my kiddios to my mother, as I have done for the past few summers.  My children are the oldest grandchildren on both sides, and because we live so far away, they don't get alot of grandparent time.  My mom lives in Michigan and their other grandma lives in California, so summer is a great time for them to hang out and enjoy their time away from school.  As usual, I plan to take one day to drive there, stay the night and then drive back the next day.  Everyone knows the plan for me taking this trip, and we've been working on communications: making sure grandma's computer has Skype, making sure my oldest son has Skype on his PDA phone, and discussing times when I'll be able to contact.  The kiddios have also been helping in preparations for my trip.  Because the Mudrik's children are around the same ages of my kiddios, they've taken great interest in them.  My daughter's fifth grade class held a mini-drive, and collected books and a few pairs of brightly colored (and seriously cool!) socks for the girls, since that's the big style here.  The boys have a video game that they are sending to the Mudrik's son from their own collection.  I appreciate their hearts to want to give, and be connected with a family of believers that they may never meet, from way across the world.

Anyway, I got to mom's and was able to spend a bit of time with her and my brother, even stopping by my brother's house to see my neices.  Then we went back to mom's house so I could get some sleep before heading back out on the road the next day.

The past few times I've visited mom's house, I've started to have minor allergy issues.  Itchy, runny eyes, runny nose, even some itchy skin.  I am allergic to only a few things that I know of: Ibuprofen, Cinnamaldahyde, and my mom's dog, Benji.  (That last thing is the sad one, since Benji is the only dog in my life that I have ever really liked...and up until she moved into her new apartment, I could be around him with no problems).  So when it was time for me to go to sleep, we made sure the dog was out of the room, and closed the door.  After trying for awhile to get to sleep, I found I couldn't, because my eyes were hurting.  I went to the bathroom to wash my face, and realized that my eyes were swollen.  At that point, I was just tired, so I told my mom not to worry, I'd just go sleep in the car.  My daughter brought a pillow from home, so I used that as well as a blanket from my trunk, and tried to settle in for the night. 

(This is not me, but this is what I looked like...well, maybe not the lips, but the eyes for sure!)

That didn't work.  When I looked in the mirror, I realized that my eyes were almost swollen shut.  I called my son on the phone, told him to let mom know I needed to go to the hospital, because I was having an all out anaphalactic episode.  My mom helps run the Emergency room unit at the local hospital, and got me there as soon as she possibly could.  My face was completely numb, and my nasal passages had closed, so I was breathing through my mouth.

I don't remember alot of what happened in the hospital, but boy am I grateful for my mom!  I guess she'd been talking to me the entire car ride there, because she told them everything that was wrong with me.  It also helps that she has close relationships with the doctors and nurses there, as their coworker, and I know I received the best care possible.  I was given a cocktail of an IV, and drifted off into a medical stupor.  I don't know how long I was asleep, but a nurse came in, and told me that alot of the swelling had gone down in my face, so I could go.  I was given a large dose of a steroid (of which I am still taking, and weaning off of), and discharged right then.  What seemed to take all night really only took about 3 hours, from when I first noticed until discharge.  I remember my mom asking me on the way back to the house if I wanted to check into a hotel room...I said no, I'd just go sleep in the car, since a hotel would be a waste of money (I planned to be on the road by 9am).  I did just that...I think I was so done in by the medicine, I could have slept on concrete!

It's funny the way the enemy works.  Satan seems to know exactly how to hit each and every person...for me, it was anaphalaxis.  I remember my mom feeling bad on the ride home...she remembered that she had cinnamon scented candles in the room where I was trying to sleep.  Candles so old that they probably didn't even have scent left in them...between those candles, and Benji being free to roam the house as he pleases, I was stuck in a histimine haven! 

One week from departure, and Satan tries to stop the work that God has planned out.  It was written before I ever thought about it, and this trip is God's will.  He has a plan, and has chosen me to be one of the people to help Him in this case.  "Here am I; Lord, send me." (Isaiah 6:9).

On another note, on the way to work this morning, I prayed.  For guidance, for patience, and not to worry.  My local Christian radio station then began playing the song that helped me name this blog, and I KNEW that everything would be alright.  God's hand is all over me, this situation and this mission trip.  4 days, and we will be there.  Let's go!

Here are the lyrics that inspired the title of this blog: from the song "I Refuse" by Josh Wilson:

I can hear the least of these, crying out so desperately

And I know we are the hands and feet of You, oh God

So if You say move, it's time for me to follow through

And do what I was made to do

And show them who You are

I don't want to live like I don't care

I don't want to say another empty prayer

Oh, I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else

To do what God has called me to do myself

I could choose not to move

But I refuse

So now, as I finish my packing, and prepare to depart with my team, I ask that you stay tuned.  We will be blogging from Prague, and updates will come from my team members as well as myself.  I look forward to this experience, and thank God for the opportunity to Go and Do, and Refuse not to move!

Thanks for being faithful readers, so far!

Dekuji!
~yonna 

Bittersweet.

I am bringing myself to write this post on purpose.  Writing this blog makes me happy, because I always get the chance to share something that is so exciting to me.  I come here to talk about my first short term missions trip, which begins in just 17 short days!

I need to be on my purpose, because I am slightly depressed right now.  See, tomorrow is the third anniversary of my father's death.  It was unexpected, and quite a traumatic experience for me, as, I'm sure, it is for anyone losing a parent.  In his last year, I'd become his legal guardian, and helped his move from the hospital, into a rehabilitation home, into his own apartment.  He'd worked hard to mend his strained relationship with my younger brother, and was successful.  He spent lots of time with all of his grandchildren, which made him happy.

I just spoke to my best friend, who told me that I don't have to let tomorrow be such a sad day...I decide that.  And I am deciding to make it a good day.  For me, it may be quiet, but it WILL be good!  After all, I will be strong and take heart, because my hope comes from the Lord! (Psalm 31:24)

My father would be so proud to know that I am going on a missions trip.  I think I got my travel streak from him.  He would hop in his car and just drive anywhere he had the gas money to go.  He talked about driving to California and back by himself.  We drove to Florida and then Texas for vacation when I was 11.  With the exception of the plan ride, he would be so excited that I a going so far...and then to do it to serve God!  I am sure he'd be beside himself with excitement, and extremely proud of me.

Last night, we had the MO5 Family Night, which was a really cool event.   2 of my 3 children joined me for dinner and fellowship.  As a group, we learned a memory verse, and then we got to 'meet' all of the teams.   Each team stood before the group, talking about how they've been preparing and what they'll be doing on their trip.  When it came time for Team Red to report, we were ready!  We finally had all 8 team members there, and were the only team fully represented.  I was able to speak Czech (though it was simple Czech, I felt VERY confident in sharing before such a large group!), and felt genuinely bonded with y team.  We are still the smallest team going, but I think we are exactly the size that God intended to send to Prague.  We are certainly hoping to go and be a blessing to the Mudrik family.

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Listen to "Oh Lord You Know" here

On a completely different note...I just took a 20 minute break from writing this blog to go and pick up my oldest son from his evening class.  On the way, I turned on my iPod...before I moved to Northeast Maryland, I went to an amazing church, the DC Regional Christian Church, where I also served on the Worship ministry.   The Worship Arts Minister, Carlos Scott, is an amazing songwriter and evangelist.  I had the honor of serving on a small ensemble singing team with him.  When he was going through a rough time in his life financially, he decided to use the talent and gift that God gave him, and recorded a CD.  He gave me the privilege of being one of his supporting singers on this project.  I mention this because I just got in the car, and one of his songs was playing, a song simply called "Oh Lord, You Know".  And I had to think..."yeah, He does know".  It wasn't even the final version from the CD...just one of our practice, scratch sessions.  I heard Carlos singing the verses, and myself and a couple of other sisters singing the background, and felt just a peace come over me.  The lyrics are very simple, but so powerful:

"Oh Lord you know my doubts, my pains and fears
And Lord you know the number of my years
Lord you know my flesh is fighting me
Thank you Lord!  Hold me close to you"

So while it is bittersweet that my biological father isn't here with me any longer, I know that I have my Heavenly Father working in my favor.  He knows how depression hurts me, and has no desire to see me go through that.  I have already decided to make the best of tomorrow, and its like He just reaffirmed that Yes, I'd made the best decision.  My flesh may be fighting me, but my mind and heart will remain steady in Him!

Thanks Carlos, for being the vessel through which that word came to me this evening.

Thank you best friend, for the reminder that the decisions I make determine the life I live.

Thanks Daddy, for instilling into me a world wandering spirit.

Thank you Lord, for the opportunities to make my decisions, to love God, love people and serve the world.



17 days until I embark on the next leg of that journey....



~yonna

Experienced Perspective

I apologize for not having written in awhile.  I've been trying to put together a yard sale, with the proceeds going towards this trip, and I just got back from vacation as well.

I went to visit family in Missouri, whom I hadn't visited since 2005.  7 years!  For me, it was quite a relaxing time, and a bit eye opening as well.

I attended church with family on Easter Sunday, at a church a considerable bit smaller than the one I go to.  The first thing I noticed when I walked in though, was that for such a small church, they sponsored quite a few missionary families, I'd say maybe 10.  I was amazed!  A church of approximately 140 members supporting 10 families all over the world!  God is truly working through this church!

I was lucky enough to hear an update from one of their missionaries who recently returned from a 6 month trip to Haiti.  After church, I ran up to her, because I wanted to talk to her about her experiences.  I explained that while my church sends short term mission teams out all the time, but this would be my first trip, and asked if she had any advice for me.

We discussed her experiences as a missionary.  She and her husband live in Missouri for 6 months, then move back to Haiti for 6 months, and have done this for the past several years.  Both places are now home to them.  She has helped to establish an orphanage in Haiti, and in special cases, raises money to bring the critically ill to the USA to seek medical treatment.  She could not imagine her life being any more full right now, and would hate it if it were any less.

As for her advice for me, she told me to be incredibly flexible, but at the same time, to be myself.  So many times missionaries go to these places, and have to 'live up to being model Christians', which eventually depresses the missionaries, and leaves those that they are helping let down.  I cannot put on a front that I am perfect, when I am not.  I am still a work in progress myself, and need to be able to show that as I teach the gospel to those who do not know it.  James 1:2-3 tells me to consider it joy when I face trials because my testing through those trial produces perseverance.  But verse 4 teaches "Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything."  I will continue to be a work in progress, and will continue to strive towards perfection, though I may fall short...but all of this is to mature me in my walk of faith.

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Right now, I am a bit discouraged.  Team Red had a great meeting last night, and we are bonding as a team quite well.  We had a language lesson from a Slavic woman who now lives in our area, and it was really cool to hear the language we will soon be surrounded by.  As for the discouragement, we got our monetary progress reports last night, and I still have A LOT of fund raising to do.  I am now one third of the way to my goal, but if I don't bring in a lot more funds here in the near future, my plane ticket cannot be purchased.  Right now, all of our tickets are reserved, but have a deadline for payment.

I am faithful that God answers prayer, especially those submit my more than one person.  Would you please pray that I am able to bring in the funds for my trip?  I appreciate the support I've been given, through this blog as well as in the real world, and having folks who have my back is ALWAYS reassuring.

Hence, the reason for our yard sale.  I am now going through outgrown kiddio clothes, books I read but no longer need, DVDs we just don't watch anymore...all sorts of things that are doing nothing but collecting dust in our home, but can help buy my trip plane ticket.  It's quite exciting, to be purging everything that I have, so that I may go and do His work, I'm just hoping it all pays off (and I will be joining my team on the trip)!

Once again, (shameless plug) if you are willing and able to donate an offering of support to the trip, please click the link at the top left of the page.  You will then be sent to a secure payment page, where you can donate to the Prague Short Term Mission Trip, in the name YONNA, and I will be credited.  Thank you so much, even for just considering this option.

Hoping to write again soon with some good news!  In the meanwhile, be sure to stop over at The Mudrik's Blog and check out what they've been up to...pretty good stuff!

Just a word...

Have you ever felt like you were "jipped by God"?  Like God gave you something, but it turned into a 'womp womp' situation?  Heard yourself saying "C'mon God...REALLY?"


(...sharing this from personal experience...)


Were you jipped by God?  Did you pray for something, and only got some/part of it?  Did you lay your expectations before him, and He not come through the way you wanted?


NO. (<<THAT was a period)


No...He answered your prayer.  And you got what you asked for (maybe more, but were so blind that you didn't see it for what it was!).  It just wasn't what you Thought, Expected or Hoped it would be.  But know the truth: HE ANSWERS PRAYER*.  He knows the desires of your heart** and never gives you more than you can bear***, nor does He harm you****!

Just as an example, for examples sake...remember how I prayed specifically, "Send me where I can best serve Your needs", which to me, meant Nairobi, Kenya...yet here I am going to Prague?  Yeah...that was one of those  "jipped by God" moments.  Amen though, I was able to get over myself, and I am completely fired up that He truly answered every word that I prayed specifically.


What are some of your 'jipped by God' moments?  Were you able to see what He has done for you, as opposed to what He did not do?  Howso?


*Matt 21:22:  If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.
**Psalm 21:2: You have granted him his heart's desire and have not withheld the request of his lips; Psalm 37:4: Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desire's of your heart.
*** Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you..."
****1Corinthians 10:13: ...And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear...

Correction!  Within that last scripture there, 1Cor10:13, it does state that He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear...not "He will not give you more than you can bear".  As my friend Juniper stated to me " actually it never says that in the Bible. We WILL have more than we can bear on our own sometimes, because otherwise we wouldn't need Him! We won't ever have temptation beyond what we can bear though. He will always provide a way out of temptation. Our study said this is one of the most misquoted verses by Christians (myself included!)".  Thanks so much, Juniper for that clarification!

Retreat highlights....I'm tired!

I just returned from a beautiful Women's Retreat weekend with my sisters from church.  I got to stay with my new friends, mother and daughter Barbara and April.  And while it was a wonderful time away with them, I am WORN OUT!

So, just a few highlights, so I can go an focus on my work (it IS Monday, afterall!).

Tracy Tiernan from 95.1 SHINE FM was our keynote speaker and worship leader for Friday and Saturday...and boy, was she challenging (I was openly sobbing by the end of the first session!).  As a worship leader at my church, I was immediately convicted by some of the things she scratched to the surface within me.  I have already begun putting her practicals to work.

Sandy Cove Retreat Center is truly a wonderful place (no TVs in the room, so you can focus on the people you came with...I'll admit, this was hard for me, since I usually fall asleep to the TV, and let the sleep timer turn itself off)...HOWEVER, the wall are thin.  I could hear my neighbors having regular conversations through the walls, and would be afraid to take my kids to stay in the lodge while visiting there.  However, they do have cabins, bunkhouses and campgrounds, so I would take them.  Also, this is how my group became known as "The Noisy Girls", lol (but I PROMISE you, we weren't anymore loud than anyone else!)

There was an amazing Commissioning and Annointing Service while we were there, where we were asked to listen to His voice, speak our Mission Fields, and be Commissioned to Go Forth and begin our works.  I have been commissioned as the leader of my children in pointing them towards Christ, and I have been commissioned to dedicate my life to the Worship Arts Ministry.  I am excited!

Finally, the thing that strikes me most as I think of this weekend is a snippet of a scripture that I memorized years ago, and how it is now burned onto my heart.  1 John 4:18 says "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.". 

There is no fear in Love. 

There is No Fear in Love.

I woke up thinking about this, and am now sitting here at work, thinking about it as well...

...and drinking this coffee!  I'm TIRED! {I will discuss my feelings on this with those who comment :) }

I'll be back later this week, to talk about more things from Team Red, the MO5 team going to Prague.  We've got 3 new members that you need to meet...and had a large group meeting, discussing conflict resolution and spiritual warfare...but for now, I need rest.

In the meanwhile...tell me what you think of that quote, "There is no fear in Love."  What do you take away from it?

MESSAGE!

So today, I got up early, and decided not to waste any time.  I was awake already, and wanted to get myself to church.  I prepared myself, got dressed, and figured I'd let the kids sleep in, since the youth services aren't held until later in the afternoon.  I prayed to God, thanking Him for waking me again, into another day of grace and mercy, and thanking Him for awaking me early enough to make it to our 8:08am service.


I left the kids asleep (well, my middle son was up and watching cartoons already...), and drove to church.  As usual, I sang my heart out (I often give 'concerts in the car' as I drive), but this morning, I felt a cry coming on.  I was happy to be alone in the car, as my crying sometimes worries my kids.


The message Pastor Ben gave today was exactly what I needed to hear.  It was about Loving People.  We are in a new sermon series, entitles The Mountain (my church) Walk.  We have a new mission, which is simple"Love God.  Love People. Serve the World.", and this was the beginning of the Love People portion.


It really hit me when Ben said "We don't have time to live in quiet desperation.  We don't have to be isolated.  Sometimes the worst loneliness happens in a crowd."


WOW...(I'm having a moment here...)


I have come to realize that I am more than hungry for healthy relationships!  The last few great relationships that I have had with people have crumbled, and I've allowed them to do so.  I have things that have happened in my past that have taught me to just allow myself to quietly 'walk away' from these relationships, instead of facing reality, and owning up to my mistakes.  Typical conflict avoider; that's me.  Instead, I need to take a lesson from Matthew 22:37-40, and love people as I love God, in similar ways.  He loves me, no matter what I've done, do, or have yet to do.  Now, because of that, I need to go out and love people in the same way...and (the hard part for me) allow them to love me in the same way.


Love God.  Love People.  If one part of that is missing, then everything is wrong.


When thinking about how I can apply this to my mission trip, I think of my team, the Mudrik's and the people of Prague.  With my team, I need to allow them into my life, and go deep...be real enough to show them who I really am.  I need to care for them enough to "Carry (their) burdens, and in this way (I) will fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2).  We are a small team, but need to be a tight team, so that we can go and serve fully, together.  They need to know my weaknesses, and I theirs.  We need to know how each of us deals with conflict, so that they may be solved, and we can go on about our purpose, which is serving while on the trip.  As for the Mudrik family, their neighbors, and the people of Prague, we need to be hospitable.  Not only as guests, but as preparers of the feast at God's table.  We are there to invite them to share in meals with Christ, to get to know Him and love Him, so that they will one day serve Him as we are.  After all, 'the healthy people don't need a doctor; the sick people do' (Matt.9:11-12).  We are to be gracious guests, not becoming a burden on our host family, but there as friends to serve all of their needs fully.  When I think of this, I think about how, when we leave, I don't want the family to have been exhausted.  Instead, it is my prayer that they will have rested; that they have wonderful memories of our visit, and that they thank God for us being there, to provide whatever help and relief they have needed.


I am looking forward to building my relationships, with my team, and within my circles here in life.  This is something I will continuously be working towards, and would love it if YOU, dear reader, would help to hold me accountable.  Feel free to offer advice by commenting below...I am willing to consider anything you have to offer.